I'm a boys' MOM...

i have two boys.. well make it three if you include the (dad) 😅 peace ga!

as i have mentioned in my previous post, the interval from my first born to my second born is so looong and wide, i thought it was 10 years but no, actually, it's 11 years. 

i don't know how it all seems to fit. maybe it would have also worked if they were born like 2 years apart but God has a way of allowing things to happen even if you don't understand it yet. during my first born, my family was all present including my sisters and my parents especially when my father was still alive. so, they all took care of him.  

Kuya Dwayne was the only apo in the family and only pag-umangkon, the baby of the house. so, he got all the attention and everything, which was fine with me. my arms were wide open to any help at all. 

i have this understanding that to raise a child, means not just the parents but also the whole community, or the entire family in my case. at the back of my mind i wanted Kuya Dwayne to be as sociable as possible and able to understand different people and perspective and to have a wider world wherein he gets all kinds of guidance from the important people in his life. 

i don't like monopoly where everything should come from me because in life, you can't depend on one person alone, and that life is a constant exploration and getting to know of a lot of people and getting ideas and getting help from various individuals.

And so 11 years later, when Klay came (a COVID baby), my family went to different parts of the world. My father died already and only three of us are left, me, my husband and Dwayne. I mean to become a new parent again to a newborn, it's a different discussion altogether. I did not have the support I had when i had Kuya and it took a toll on me. 

Yes, we did video chat but it's not the same. Plus all the hormones, the fears, the angst, the worries, i took it all too personally. it took a while for me to finally get a good soft ground for my situation and finally accepting things as they were. Me and my husband were used to a lot of people just helping but this time it was just the both of us. And so the bickering started. (As would couples who are struggling to find balance amid all the chaos..)

Who would stay awake and who gets to sleep? Who gets to do what? etc etc etc.. 

I think it was my mother who said, everything will pass, this is just a phase in life, when the kids grow up, it won't be the same. So treasure the moments even if they are hard because if ever you get to look back, you can say, man we made it! alive!

so far, we still are alive and thriving and making lemonades out of lemon. i think what i can say as a parent of a toddler and a teenager altogether (wow, i have two different generations at hand as i say it), first of all, i am happy. i love being a mom, wait two boys at that? it is important that we GROW through what we GO through. 

i say it with the intent that every hardship, heartache, accomplishment or victory, is either a gift or a lesson. there is no failure or waste because in the end, we become better of the experience if we GROW through it. 

Plus, what's great to have a kuya is that they do Kuya stuff like taking care of Klay, feeding, cleaning the toys, making milk.. etc. (Thanks Kuya!)

So, that was long. Here are some photos from our weekend getaway. #ExploreMisOr?