What you want most...

what you want most... or as Oprah asks it... what do you really really really want? 

actually, there are two questions: what you want vs what you want most? although it's only a one word difference but the disparity is so huge, you may have to rearrange your life if you figure out the latter. 

what you want is easy, like if it's an object, there are ways to get it. loan? installment plan? credit card? if it's a person, then just be nice to him or her or treat the person somewhere, and maybe you get them... or i want good food, i can just go to a restaurant of my liking and i get a fantastic meal. that's it. it's not rocket science, it's attainable. 

one time, i craved for unripe mango, because i saw one over facebook, and then surprisingly enough, later in the afternoon, when i arrived home, my mom bought one for me saying she bought it because she knew i liked it. but i never asked her. do you ever get that? just thinking of something and then actually receiving it or getting it without asking?

my mom would always say, if it's for you, you will know it because everything will go out smooth, if it's not, it can be quite difficult. meaning, you don't have to force things to happen if God intends it for you, because in one way or another, it will be delivered. 

it doesn't also mean you will be lazy about it, for me, i feel like it's a reward. God sees what you do and rewards you with a gift because it's from your heart. 

going back to the question... what do you really really really want??? i find that what you want most takes work, a lot of deep reflecting and transformation in the way you do things, kind of re-arranging your life to achieve it. but why do the hard work right? 

i guess what i am saying is that what you want most is not really a thing, because that is easy, and it's also in the long run unfulfilling, it fades. what you want most is not a person because people come and go whether you like it or not, and it's not even a job, because your boss could fire you anytime and what will happen? right? 

so i'm saying, what you want most, is something that is long lasting and fulfilling, it's an idea of what life looks like and who you become as a person in the process. don't get me wrong i want to achieve things, it's probably why my mind doesn't stop. i can't stop thinking or analyzing, but i have come to peace with that part of me. i have come to accept it and appreciate it. 

the idea is that life can be more fulfilling if we are intentional about it. what is essential then?

i am more critical now and i guess more intentional with life. 

it's true what they say, people show up in the depth of how far they have known themselves. for people who think that health is wealth, they would respect the way you value wellness or fitness, for people who respect not only the one in authority but also respect people just because they are in the image and likeness of God, they will show respect even if they are not talking to authority figures. 

what do you want most? is it happiness? is it success? is it true love? is it family? is it a big life? a simple life? is it a renewed faith in God? or is it just simply a stable heart?

thinking about it even takes work, because we have to dig deep, intentional living as they say it, is living your life from your core. is this life aligning to my values, and most importantly, is it giving joy? i guess, you can also ask is this giving me joy? if it's not that what is?

it's a pretty big assignment but we are in this life of constant change and transformation. what is life if we can't change?

happy weekend!